Adding to my List…So I Can Check it Off

So many of the good things in my life have come through a great deal of pain.  That isn’t to say I don’t have good things that have come from the mundane or joyful everyday occurrences.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA   I just think that without the valleys…I don’t think I’d appreciate the mountaintops as much.

 

 

I don’t fit into my small jeans anymore.  There…I’ve said it.  I bought jeans at Target and returned them because I refuse to go up a size.  Instead…I am going to wear my cute skirts and work my tush, legs, chest, until I can’t move.  And through that pain…I will fit into my regular jeans.

My jeans not fitting…that’s just a symptom.  The real core issue that is the catalyst to it all is the grief of my dad passing and the stress of life.  A lot of that stress, I put on myself.  I choose to take that burden and try to manage it alone when it was never meant to be that way.  Sometimes, I take on a new problem/activity/goal  just so I can find a solution to it.  It’s like making a checklist and adding things to the list AFTER you’ve done them…just so you can have the satisfaction of checking it off.  In doing that, I can ignore the real problem…the pain of losing Dad.

So in the forward and backward dance of life…Today I will cling to two passages and try to make them my own…Matthew 6:34 says,  “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.  Sufficient for the day is it’s own trouble.” and Matthew 11:29 which reminds me to “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me;  For I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.”

Rest.  Rest in the fact that I don’t need to have it all covered.  Rest because I don’t need to be done grieving.  Rest because I don’t need to rush the process.  Rest in the fact that I don’t need to be perfect.  Rest (well actually exercise and rest) because I don’t need to fit into the jeans if I can’t yet.  😉  I just need to rest.  I need to rest in Him.  My loving, forgiving, gracious, Abba father.  Just like a child rests and trusts that life is going to go along smoothly and be taken care of…I need to rest in Him and trust that He’s got me covered.

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