Archives for March 2015

Missing those gone and Pointing up

Grandpa's hand

I miss my dad. I miss my brother. I miss my grandma. I wish I could have known my niece. Today, in a quiet moment in the car as we drove home from an appointment it hit me hard that my dad will never know our third superhero. This has struck me before but for whatever reason…today…it felt raw and new. It cut deep.

In my mind’s eye, I could see the picture above of him holding my second superhero’s hand in his when he was just 3 days old. I kept seeing this image and remembered all the rough weathered details of his hands and remembered his voice…how it soothed away my hurt ego and pains of the past…how his hands held my mom or us as we cried and how they could show incredible strength as he worked on equipment in the garage or cut wood with the chainsaw.

When I see something funny or laugh about our water problems I can hear his voice, how he would laugh and sympathize at the same time…not making you feel bad and yet seeing the humor that you saw. I read a blog today about someone dying well because she lived well and you know…there is truth in that.

Both my brother and dad had huge funerals. They lived. They touched lives. They loved. They helped those who needed it often to a fault and were at times, taken advantage of. Yet, that was who they were. They shared their faith in Christ but in a gentle, honest, way…like breathing…it was never forced…it just was. They both knew how to admit when they were wrong and apologize from the heart.

Did they have faults. Yes…but don’t we all? I see mine daily but also am thankful for who I am growing to be. It’s like an adventure that I don’t know the ending to. I just pray I can finish it with dignity and impact the lives around me in a way that points to the ONE who has changed, continues to change and has rescued me.

Top 6 things I’m Learning in our Pioneer Days

So as many of you know and some of you don’t…we have been without running water since March 1st. It’s a long story and it involves cold weather, frozen underground pipes and waiting for the thaw. What my handsome hubby and I are finding is that we are learning a lot about each other and ourselves.

So life lessons from pioneer days…

1) We take our easy access to clean water for granted. Washing dishes, flushing toilets, dishwashers, washing machines…Oy. I think of in other countries and how clean drinking water is a luxury and flush toilets are unheard of let alone a machine that would wash your dishes or clothing for you. It’s insane.

2) Learning to let go of things out of our control needs to be a daily exercise. We can’t control how fast the ground freezes or the thawing of the pipes or the forces that be that make it difficult to move forward. All we can control is our acceptance of what is and our attitude to allow it to ruin everyday or move past it and through it. Even the yucky stuff can serve a positive purpose if we allow God to use it to shape us.

3) People as a whole want to help. Friends and neighbors have been so incredibly supportive and helpful. God has been so good to us by surrounding us with people who care and genuinely step up in practical ways. It’s hard to rely on other people. I’m a naturally independent person so accepting help is difficult. However, I am also 7 months pregnant so to take care of myself and our little guy…I need to accept help.

4) Humor can be found in even the worst of times…it’s all in how you look at things. Today we went to church and the sermon was on patience. My handsome hubby and I literally started laughing. It was hilarious. I came home and saw a post saying today was World Water Day. I laughed. We have a hose connected to our neighbors behind us and my hubby said it was time to jump the fence and get set up for the day. We contemplated whether someone unaware of our situation would call the cops on him. I reminded him of his words that one day we’ll look back on all of this and laugh.

5) People in pioneer days were in excellent physical shape. Hauling buckets of water and laundry across the street or in and out of friends’ homes has caused me to tone my back and arm muscles. I am officially all baby belly. I don’t know how women kept up with everything back then.

6) God is always with us. We had a dear friend pass away in a dune buggy accident. He left behind his wife and two kids. It was a very vivid reminder of the deaths my family has gone through this past year and the faithfulness of God to walk with us through it all. This water stuff is inconvenient…it stinks. But losing my husband would be so much worse and I need to cling to and remember that on the days I feel like breaking.

So as we wait…we continue to learn and grow. As I traveled through one particularly difficult time in life, my grandma reminded me that I was God’s precious gold and was being put through the Refiner’s fire. I told her I better be platinum when I’m done with this trial. I still laugh at that but I also recognize the truth in the refinement that is happening. I see things in myself that need work. I’m a work in progress and that’s a good thing. I don’t ever want to stop learning or growing.

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